My mum always regretted that she did not choose to attend university,
she chose not to, because she did not want to intimidate my father.
Last Friday, we're talking about this again.
But I asked her what did she think will happen if she did go to university?
"Perhaps, you won't be born (haha)"

We have many choices,
most of the time our choices determine who we are, and what lives we will lead.
Yes, I believe for all the choices, there will be a best plan laid out before it.
But as humans, I am greedy. I am hungry for the best.
Honestly, I want the best choice.
And the best plan will be laid out infront of the best choice too right?

But perhaps, best choice will mean a harder route.

But every choice will leads to a different route.

I wish there are a lot of me-s in this world, and all can make different choices.

His wife held him back. She was screaming, warning her husband to not do it.
His face was red, he broke free from her grasps and stormed off into the kitchen.
The chain of swear words never stopped.

His wife held him back. She was screaming, asking him to stop it.
Her face was tearful, her other arm across her children. Protecting them from the imminent explosion.
Her husband shouted at the man in the kitchen, daring him to come out.

He came out, with a knife and a chopping board. He slammed them onto the dining table.
He placed his head onto the chopping board, he dared his son. But he was holding the knife.
He dared his son to do it.
YOU THINK I DON'T DARE?!

Her children were pushed into the room. The sister hugged the younger brother.
The eldest asked them to keep quiet and hid inside with them.
She said, if anything happened, called 113.
She always remember the number, ever since the school gave her this card that has the number on it.
She left the room. There was muffled sounds of women shouting.

Her father was in the kitchen with his wife,
his wife was angry, shouting.
Her grandfather was in his room with his wife,
his wife was crying,
She didn't understand. But this etched in her mind.

---

She picked up the phone, and had a nice chat with her father.
He then asked for his wife.
There was rumbling, her voice was raised, and it hit the pitch where
it slammed down.
He never scolded you. Everything was my fault, she said.

They were talking about money, he was wanted to know how money was spent.
They were here, not home.
He worked hard, at home.

Money was spent on her, and the younger ones.
She thought it was all her fault.

---

Her sister cried, she cried hard.
She was scolded by her parents.
They did not knew that her sister did not take Higher Chinese,
until June when she was sec 3.

Her father and mother had a huge row.
Her mother slammed the door and walked out.
Her father teared,
If you were a guy, you would've been beaten to death by now, he said.

It wasn't meant to be like this.
It doesn't have to be like this,
if they were home.
She thought it was all her fault.

---

She was eighteen.
Her mother sat her on the sofa.
She told her about all the things that happened when they were home.
And when they were here.

She looked up at her, guilty, and apologized.
Told her mother everything was her fault all these while.
Her mother seemed puzzled, and asked why she thought that way.
If we were home, he and I may not still be together today.
If we were home, he and grandpa may have quarreled until something bad may happen.
If we were home, grandpa may never know how to cherish you all and me.
We're saved by coming here, the whole family's saved.

---

the lock was broken. the chain fell loose.
Released.